For 2022 I’m launching a new series on this blog: Tropetacular. In this monthly feature, I’ll examine popular book tropes, discuss whether or not they’re something I enjoy, and discuss the ways they can go right or spectacularly wrong. I may bring up some examples of specific books (or other media) that I think are particularly good, bad, or just popular examples.
I’m going to start with a biggie, which shows up not just in specifically romantic fiction, but in a lot of action-oriented genres with a romantic subplot. I’m talking, of course, about enemies to lovers.
What is “Enemies to Lovers”?
This trope is pretty self-explanatory! Two or more characters start out in opposition to each other, but over the course of the book or series, their relationship shifts to become romantic and/or sexual in nature.
Enemies to lovers can have a lot of permutations. The characters can have an immediate sexual spark that they fight against due to their animosity, or they can slowly grow to respect, admire, and love each other as they get to know each other better and find some way to overcome their initial conflict. Sometimes, the conflict may remain but they still hook up while working against each other outside the bedroom.
Why is This Trope So Popular?
I feel like a big part of the appeal of enemies to lovers is that it creates a lot of romantic and/or sexual tension. In some romantic storylines, the reasons for keeping the two (or more) characters apart can feel contrived. Being on opposite sides of a conflict is a pretty good reason to not smash faces and/or other body parts together.
There’s a lot of conflict inherent in a good enemies to lovers story. Characters are conflicted about the feelings they have for their enemy. They may find themselves questioning their commitment to whatever is keeping them apart from their lover.
Also, depending on the story and the characters, enemies to lovers gives the author lots of opportunity for banter. It can be really fun to read a conversation that veers between insults and flirtation, and to watch that balance swing more and more towards flirtation as the characters overcome their animosity.
When it’s paired with a redemption arc, the enemies to lovers trope can be really appealing to people who believe (or want to believe) that Love Conquers All.
Do I Like Enemies to Lovers?
I don’t actively seek out books with the enemies to lovers trope. I can enjoy it when it’s done in certain ways, which I’ll get into shortly. However, oftentimes I feel like it bumps up against my personal beliefs about redemption and forgiveness.
Likewise, as a demisexual, it’s hard for me to imagine being not just attracted to but potentially sexually vulnerable with someone who I see as an enemy, or have only recently stopped seeing as an enemy. It can require a lot of suspension of disbelief for me to accept the speed with which some characters go from wanting to kill each other to wanting to kiss each other (and then some).
Heck Yes, Not For Me, No Thank You
There are so very many ways to do enemies to lovers! I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, so as I discuss the different permutations of this trope, please understand that my rankings of “heck yes”, “not for me”, and “no thank you” represent my personal taste only.
Heck Yes
I can really enjoy the banter and character development that happens in an enemies to lovers plot where the enmity is relatively low-stakes. Think rivals at work or school, or contestants on a competition show. I’d also put players on rival sports teams in this category, though I don’t generally read sports-themed books. The characters can have a really strong dislike for each other and be driven to outdo each other, but they’re not literally out for blood.
I can also enjoy enemies to lovers when the enmity is over a misunderstanding. ie, if one character thinks the other wronged them in some way. This can be especially fun when the enmity is one-sided and the other character has no idea. As long as the author doesn’t drag this idea out long past when sensible people would have hashed it out, it can lead to great hijinks and banter.
Enemies to lovers can also work when characters are on opposite sides of a major conflict (a war, feuding families, etc) but have not done active harm to each other. I feel like this variation works best when both characters disagree with the conflict and want to either escape it or end it. In this case, you get a little bit of enemies to lovers and then a little bit of star-crossed lovers as they try to figure out how to have their Happy Ever After despite opposition from everyone around them.
Not For Me
There are variations of the enemies to lovers trope that don’t really work for me, but I get why other people enjoy them.
For people who enjoy angst, I get the appeal of an enemies to lovers story where they are on opposite sides of a conflict, but one or both of them believe in the rightness of their side. This can lead to a lot of drama as the character juggles love and duty, and tries to convince their lover to switch sides. It’s not my jam, but I can understand why others eat it up.
Likewise, a story where one character has caused harm to the other (usually indirectly, ie, harm to a friend or family member), there’s room for angst, groveling, and a redemption arc. I can see why this would be appealing, especially if the harm was accidental or happened because the character was misled or being manipulated. It’s not really my thing, because I’m not a “forgive and forget” type, but I get it.
No Thank You
These are the permutations that I really can’t get behind. In fact, while I said I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum, there are some enemies to lovers variations that I will side-eye you for enjoying.
I can’t get into any enemies to lovers story where one character has caused significant harm to the other, willingly and with full knowledge of what they were doing. I don’t understand how you could forgive that to the point where you’d fall into their arms. I don’t ship it.
I very much can’t get into a story where one character was involved in the persecution or genocide of the other’s people. Miss me forever with your Nazi redemption arcs.
Much lower stakes but still a no, but I can’t enjoy a story where someone hooks up with their high school bully. Yeah, maybe a lot of bullies were just lashing out for valid reasons, and maybe they deserve a happily ever after once they’ve gotten therapy and made amends — but they don’t deserve it with the person they tormented as a teenager.
And finally, I can never get into an enemies to lovers story where one character has raped the other, or someone the other cared about. That’s a big no thank you. No HEAs for rapists.
Examples of the Enemies to Lovers Trope
If you’d like to explore this trope, here are a few titles that came to mind while I was writing this.
Saga is a comic book series that is less about that transition from enemies to lovers, and more about the so-called “happy ever after.” What happens when you fall in love with someone on the opposite side of a war, and you have a child together? It’s a beautiful story, at turns funny, romantic, adventurous, wonderful, and absolutely heartbreaking. Lots of LGBTQIA+ rep, too. I’m so glad it’s finally coming back after a long hiatus.
This is How You Lose the Time War is a weird little epistolary enemies to lovers story. I’m not saying I exactly buy the romance, but it’s such a unique reading experience, and features some real enmity turned respect turned love.
The Wolf and the Woodsman appears to be a pretty polarizing read in that a lot of people enjoyed the angsty enemies to lovers element, and other people (like me) had big problems with it. Read my full review here.
The Unbroken makes use of enemies to lovers, although it is the first book in a series and is not a romance, so the question of “will they or won’t they?” remains up in the air. Here’s the thing: I don’t want these characters to be together. Don’t fall in love with your oppressor, kids! But on the other hand: the sexual tension is hot and the angst is thick. Reading this book really made me understand why people enjoy this trope. Click here for my full review.
Do you have a favorite, or least favorite, enemies to lovers book? What trope would you like to see me discuss soon? I think next month I will discuss my sometimes problematic fave “girls dressing like boys.”
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