I know it seems like I was already reading a lot of queer books, but after a couple of really annoying books that leaned too heavily into traditional cishet gender roles in the romance element, I decided to take a long break from new-to-me cishet fiction authors and focus even more on reading more queer fiction. So far, while I’ve still had some duds (enemies to lovers is a hard sell for me no matter the genders of the participants), it’s generally made my reading more interesting and I’m pretty excited about a lot of the stuff coming up in my TBR. Hopefully, I’ll find some new favorite authors!
A/S/L by Jeanne Thornton is one of the first books I added to my TBR based solely on seeing it on a list of queer books coming out in April. And honestly, I’m still not sure if I liked it, but it was definitely an interesting reading experience and it took me back to my 90s IRC days in both good and bad ways.
Abraxa, Sash, and Lilith are all teenagers in the 90s, friends who only know each other through IRC. Specifically, they are brought together by a love of creating video games, part of a community of other (mostly young) people who use a specific engine to make graphically simple but sometimes emotionally and conceptually complex games. Or more specifically, forming “corporations” to make these games, having big ideas, and rarely actually following through.
Thornton does such a good job in these early chapters of capturing that feeling of being a teen in the 90s and having such big ambitions. I never thought I was going to make a video game, but I was sure I was going to write comics and/or novels. Other kids formed bands and dreamed of making it big. We all thought we were brilliant and just waiting to be discovered. Sometimes you share these dreams with kids in your own school or IRL social circle, and sometimes your friends all live in the computer and you don’t even know each other’s names, just online handles. But the connections feel so powerful, and your ideas seem so important.
That’s the good part of the 90s IRC teenager nostalgia (and believe me when I say I am someone who is rarely nostalgic for my childhood and especially my painfully awkward teenage years). The bad part is being reminded that oh yeah, there was a lot of sexism, homophobia, and transphobia in those chats. Being one of the rare girls around was both a vaunted and scary position.
For reasons, this collaboration falls apart and the friends drift apart, and we find them again in 2016, in their early 30s, all stuck in some way, and all slowly drawn back together. Will they rekindle their friendship? Will they finally finish Saga of the Sorceress?
This is a very literary book; our characters don’t get ported into their video game, no one has blatant magic powers, nothing like that. But it does have an almost fantastical feel due to how immersed the characters can get in their thoughts about the game, their feelings about the titular Sorceress from their game (a character they ported over from a popular game franchise, their game serving as a complex piece of fan fiction), and the importance ritual has for individuals and the trio. If you’re a genre fiction reader and you’re looking to read something more literary to either get out of your comfort zone or fulfill a book bingo prompt, this is a good choice.
A/S/L is not a perfect book. For one, to my genre-loving sensibilities, it feels incredibly slow-paced, especially in the middle. The author made an odd choice, in having all of the trans characters (of which there are many) pretty much exclusively use the term “transsexual”. Is this meant to be a sign that so many of them are still stuck in a 90s way of thinking? And I suspect the ending will be very polarizing. It seems designed to inspire some great discussion, so consider this one for your book club, too.
There were things I really enjoyed, especially the way the author would refer back to gaming concepts, to seeing scenes as like a challenging puzzle in a game. Honestly I think it will appeal to those who remember getting a game in the 90s with no guidebook, no tutorial mode, just flailing your way through trying to figure it out.
Over all, this was a really thought-provoking book, and I’d consider another book by this author if the premise intrigued me.
CWs and TWs: Transphobia and homophobia, both external and internalized; sexual content; reminders of Trump’s 2016 election win; injury, illness, and dental stuff.
Source and Format: I borrowed the ebook from Seattle Public Library.
Reading Challenge Prompts
Nook & Cranny (Card 1): Fresh Starts and 2nd Chances. There’s a little bit of both of this, as our characters get a second chance at their teenage friendship, and make fresh starts as they break out of the ruts they’ve found themselves in.
World of Whimm: On Vacation. Sure, this might not sound like a beach read, but I did bring it with me on vacation to Long Beach, WA. It was a bit too cold and windy to read on the beach, though, so I enjoyed it next to the fireplace and in bed in the cottage.
Reading Challenge Progress
Nook & Cranny (Card 1): 9 of 25, no bingos.
Nook & Cranny (Card 2): 12 of 25, 1 bingo.
Book Riot: 11 of 25.
Physical TBR: 6 of 12.
World of Whimm: 13 of 24, no bingos.